Dedication...

What makes a person dedicated to changing themselves? Mine comes in a couple of different forms.

First and foremost... I want to be old! No joke!! I want to have a full head of gray hair and sip ice tea on the front porch of a beautiful home in North West Texas! I've dreamed and spoken of that since I was very young. I also want to use the excuse to being a total sassafras on being old!!!
My second dedication is to my son Troy. I can't let him down. I need to continue to set a good example of what a mom should be. TV depicts moms as selfish and narcissistic. Maybe some are. I am not. And I have to continue to better myself... For him!!!

I also have this fear of failure. In life. Being a loser. I've failed at things before. I've left those who mean the most to me disappointed and hurt. I cry over that. A lot! I want them to be proud to be close to me. I think when push comes to shove they are, but I don't want them to be worried... That I'll keel over any minute from unhealthy living... That I'm not dedicated to myself as they are to me.

Today as I had lunch at my favorite Chinese Buffett... These were in my fortune cookies. My final inspiration is my God. HE keeps me focused and reminds me in times of doubt... That HE always is my guiding hand!!