December 2

I've been so busy today. I had an inservice yesterday and it inspired me-- in more ways than one.


The biggest one is that Ive just been going through the motions of working. No amount of jokes and relative child theories will change the fact that I am probably just buying time until I can do something else. But I shouldn't just always go through the motions at work. Somewhere deep in my "cold" heart I do care about my children. I want them to succeed. I want to change the world and I truly believe it starts with small children. So, I took the whole day and made some things for my classroom. A lot of them were ideas I have (and had) about working with challenge kids. In college, I taught a severely dyslexic and diagnosed ADD to sit long enough to read!! It took me the while semester. But every day I was motivated more and more. I used techniques I theorized would work. Some did, some didn't. Now, if I could do this in college when all that was motivating me was... myself... Why can't I do this now with all the challenges I face?


I can. And I will!!!!

Forgive me Blog World...

I haven't posted in a very long time.  I absolutly loved blogging and it brought such a peace about me.  I am not quite sure why I stopped.

The summer drains me.  It is WAY too hot in North Texas to do any sort of training outside.  So, I stopped completely.  My booty and thighs show it!  Funny how running really does tone certain parts of my body.  I've stayed strong on my diet that I have almost just considered it a life style change.  I engage in french fries and chocolate candy bars now and then but I really know and understand my limits.  I've been researching a whole new concept in dieting, errr lifestyle change, that I'd like to implement after Christmas is over.  I can't give up mashed potatoes completely yet!!  But I'm leaning towards it.  More on all that later.

I've started back to running.  My life is so chaotic right now that I only can run on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays.  It's the way it is.  I hate that, but I just can't change it right now.  Well, unless I wake up at 5:00am.. but come on, that will not happen.  I've been doing some crazy exercise called a BURPEE that the BFF is OBSESSED with.  How on earth the BFF talked me into this is beyond me.  They are INSANE!!  My girly parts HATE me when I do them.  And I haven't really pushed myself to do more than what my mind tells me I can do.  But, I can feel them the next day as I go about my daily business.  My upper body strength is less and less by the millisecond.  I've been researching what to do about all of that.  I think I've come up with a soltion...  More on all of that later.

The biggest thing is I really feel like mentally I need to start blogging again.  I really am in this fitness and lifestyle change on my own.  No one around me, besides said BFF, really supports me.  They all think I'm totally fine the way I am.  I really don't think it's okay to live such a crappy life.  So, I go at it alone the best way I can to fit my needs and the needs of the non supportive people around me.  Long sad sappy girly ridiculous story short, I'm in this for the long haul and I need some sort of mental outlet to get this out...  (the BFF has 10 other hats to wear).

So, look for more blogs starting tomorrow.  I have a bazillion pictures and things to post about.

An almost happy.....  ~Melissa

OMG!!

I was outside playing with Troy tonight. He asked to take a picture of me. Cautiously, I allowed him to hold the iPhone all by himself and he snapped away. This is blury, but it's an amazing look at how far I've come!! WOW!!!

Sunday Project...

A big part of being a better me is recognizing my accomplishments.  I've lost a lot of weight.  And I look pretty good, most days.  But every day I look at clothes that are way too big for me. Why do I keep them?  To remind myself of something that I once was.  I don't need a reminder.  And I sure as heck will NEVER be in those sizes again. 

So, today I decided to clean out my closet.  Everything that was more than one size too big was thrown away.  I decided not to donate it because I would never remember to take it to a donation center.  Garbage day is Tuesday--It can all go.  I only kept the things that were one size too big.  If I had thrown away everything that was too big, I'd have two shirts, a pair of shorts, and a maxi dress.  Yeah, that's not good.  But ALL new clothes for the fall and the winter because those all went!!!

I am really proud of myself!!!!

Weekend Ramblings...

I woke up on Saturday morning grumpily.  I didn't want to get out of bed!!!  But I forced myself to get up and do my long run.  It was a good run.  7 miles!!!  I didn't time myself.  The best thing is, I didn't think about anything while I was running. I just ran.  I actually made up a story in my head about what it would be like to live in prison.  WAY WORSE than running this little seven miles right?

When I returned home, I was so motivated to take care of some house stuff.  I am, clinically, OCD but I have to fight this disease during the week.  There are not enough hours in the day to keep my house imaculate, organized, and smelling fresh and clean (Remember I live with TWO boys!!!).  So, this weekend was the weekend.  I had some grumbles from the pit crew but I didn't care.  I couldn't take it anymore.  *Side Note*-  My house is probably immaculate to most people on a daily basis.  But I have MUCH higher standards!!

So, I started the laundry.  The funny thing about OCD is that you get sidetracked very easily.  So, while I am starting one project, I am thinking about the two others I want to do.  I scrubbed a few toilets (anyone want a picture of that???) and decided to tackle one of the projects I had thought about an hour ago.  I needed to pack away all the winter gear.

I obviously hadn't done this in a long while.  I came across sweatshirts I hadn't forogtten about.  I decided, because if youre OCD you are NOT a hoarder, to get rid of the ones that we don't wear often enough to care about.

But these three I couldn't part with even though we don't wear them much anymore.  

This is Josh's from his first boat.  He wore this on our second date.  It has all his patches from his first year in the Coast Guard.  I actually hadn't even seen it in years!  Maybe I can find something to do with it to display it.  I'll have to search Pintrest.

This was given to me when we lived in New Jersey by another Coastie Wife.  New Jersey was my first place away from home and the comforts.  I was actually excited to learn this was pretty large on me which means I am smaller than I was in 2005!!  But I couldn't get rid of it.  I think it might be the ONLY thing I own that says "Coastie Wife".  I supported my husband but I wasn't the type to wear CG gear all the time.  I think I might have two T-shirts left and that's about it.

This is probably one of the oldest pieces of clothing I own.  One of my great friends in high school went to Yale.  He brought this home for me for Christmas.  I wore it almost EVERY SINGLE DAY my Senior year of high school.  I was pretty proud to have a friend who went to such a prestigious university.  We are still friends.  Well, I see his updates on FB.  And his grandfather died when we lived in Houston and he visited.  But it's still pretty cool I have a piece of clothing from Hartford, CT.

After this little project, the boys were starving.  Off we went to lunch.  Right next door to the place we ate was a backery.  I thought I'd go in and buy Troy a cupcake.  Oh good gravy, they wanted $5.00 for a small cupcake.  I told Troy I could make him 24 cupcakes for the price of two of these cupcakes.  Off to the store I went...

And that is what I made.  I only made a dozen of them because it was close to dinner time.  Josh and Troy said they were great.

Moving on to dinner.  Troy requested spaghetti.  The bad thing about my new eating lifestyle is pasta is a no go for me right now.  But I wanted to make him whatever he wanted.  So, I made spaghetti for the boys and a huge salad for me.  I love cooking for them on the weekends.  I miss cooking for them all week long.

And that was Saturday.....

10 on Tuesday... 6-19

These are kinda fun...
Today is 10 things that can be found in my purse!

1. iPhone
-I've tried to leave this at home before. I feel lost without it. My whole life is in my phone. I love it!!

2. Wallet
-Duh. It carries my ID and credit cards. Every now and then it has some cash. But not usually! Hubby bought me this for my birthday.

3. Keys
-Can't drive or get into my house without them. I only have two keys on this ring and too many keychains. That's supposedly bad for your car but I don't care!

4. 1.50 in quarters
-So I am not sure why I like having quarters loose in my purse. I have a coin slot in my wallet. But alas, these make home at the bottom of my purse.

5. Hair tie
- It's hot in Texas. You always have to be ready to put your hair up!!

6. Pen
- I always need one. I use them all day at work so I have to have one with me at all times. My purse is the home for them after work.

7. Pepto to go
- All the cheese and meat I eat gives me some tummy issues sometimes. These help. Sometimes I have tums too. Plus.. Good calcium supplement!

8. iphone/pad/nano wall charger
- We have so many Apple devices that every room in our house has one and I carry one with me. People who spend the night at my house laugh because in the guest bedroom, a charger, an IPod, Ihome speakers, AND an extension cord are waiting to be used. I don't know anyone who doesn't carry an IPhone so...

9. Lip Gloss
- I'm a girl. Sometimes I need to look pretty and girly. A touch of gloss does wonders for your smile.

10. My Watch
- I try to take this off before work. I only like to wear it while I'm running. So my purse is its home half the time!

Monday Weigh In-- June 18

Today is my day off.  Once a month, I find a weekend and take a three day.  It's something I told my boss that I would do when I applied for the job.  I know the burn out rate in my profession is so high and I needed to find my own way of working through that.  I need this job and, really, my job needs me.  So today is one of those days...

I didn't weight in today.  And today I am choosing just not to care about food, weight, running, none of it.  I can deal with it all tomorrow and that will be okay!!!

So, off to the movies we go!!  Then dinner!!!  Hope everyone had a great day!!!